Rosewater by Liv Little

Author:Liv Little
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Zando

I pass the phone to Maggie to show her the text message.

She smiles. “I didn’t forgive my parents for their bullshit until I was much older. It wasn’t until I reached my forties that I realized they were just as fucked up as the rest of us. Oh God, it reminds me of that Philip Larkin poem,” she says, handing back my phone. “You’ll be all right, Elsie. You’ve made it this far.” I nod in acknowledgment. Unexpectedly, Maggie gives me a hug and I lean into it. After a couple of seconds, we move around to an available pool table, and she orders a couple more Sols.

“I was sad to hear about what happened to the club,” Maggie continues. I’m glad for the change in conversation.

“So was I. Jamie could be a pain in the arse, but that place sort of felt like home.”

“It’s the same thing I saw happening in the nineties. Most of our events happened in other people’s venues, but there was this one bar in Euston Station that we used to congregate at. It was a vibe. Didn’t last long time though.”

“Damn.”

“It was a different day but the same struggle.”

I take another swig from my bottle.

“You can mope for today, Elsie, but then I want you to go out there and hold your head up high. Don’t think I haven’t watched your performances online! You have a gift, and you do not want to wake up one day feeling as though you didn’t use it. Trust me. At the peak of my darts career, I was in my forties, but if I’d known what my talent was, what would fill me up, I would’ve been reaching for it much earlier. The world is yours, especially when you’re backed by love. Your friend, from the way that you’ve described her, loves you. And she’s not going to leave. You have to learn to move through life without fear.”

Deep down, I know there’s truth to what Maggie is saying. It’s just easier said than done.

We spend the remainder of the night playing pool and the conversation lightens. Under Maggie’s watch, the tension I’ve been holding throughout my body softens, and for the next few hours, I don’t think about Mum or Dad or Helen or what I’ll say when I get back to the flat. Instead, I get Maggie speaking about the women in her life, past and present, and the events she’s been sending me the posters of. She speaks and I laugh and soak it all in. Then, just as we are about to leave, I make my way to the toilet, and as I’m crouched over the toilet bowl, scrolling through my phone and myriad unread WhatsApps, I see another check-in from Leonie.

Elsie, check your emails!!! Nora said that they haven’t heard back from you yet. You’ve got mail!! Let’s meet up and celebrate sometime soon. Xx

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